It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
