I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
