yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
My orgasm happened in two different decades
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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