Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
