How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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