Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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