You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
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