im six kinds of drunk right now
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
