I feel like abortions should bother me more
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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