I met the friendliest cop last night
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
