I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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