Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Randomize
