It's Friday. Sex?
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
It's no shave November. This is our time.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
