And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I checked into jail on foursquare
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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