I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
This beer is not sobering me up at all
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
