ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Redeem this text for a blowjob
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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