it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Never underestimate the power of titties
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