I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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