In the future we'll all be gay
It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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