we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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