dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
