adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
MIDGETS
????
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
