we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
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Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
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