okay pat passed out under dana's car
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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