Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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