I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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