i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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