The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize