I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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