Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
