Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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