I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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