I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
