And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
