You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
