It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
