Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
