ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
My ATM looks so different sober.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
