I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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