No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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