But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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