your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
