What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
