call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
My life is pants optional.
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