I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
