is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Randomize
