The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
