so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
