Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
