a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
