Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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