I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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