I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
