i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
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