They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Randomize
