Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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